Coping With Emi a 'Drug Exposed' Infant

Emmi fell into our arms almost by magic.  I think it was partly because when we set out to adopt this time we marked virtually every special need on the list.  I believe there may have been suspicion that this baby might just fall into that category.  Adopting Emilio from Ukraine with brittle bone disease seemed somehow easy.  I'm a work brittle person so the thought of caring for a fragile child was not frightening.  Emi on the other hand may have the special needs that frighten me the most.  I don't know about the brain damage.  I don't know about the central nervous system damage.  I don't know how much can heal itself from eight months of captivity in a womb that was subjected to a pack of cigarettes a day.  Marijuana, methamphetamine, and cocaine.  Was this often? Every day?  Or occasionally?  I will never know that answer.  I fear her being able to reach her full potential.  With that being said, I will do everything humanly possible for her to do just that, reach her 'full' potential.  She is six weeks old.  I have not slept a night in bed since her coming home.  I hold her.  She was brought home with digestive issues.  She chokes easily.  She has made one trip to the emergency room for this.  I never leave her side.  She has nerve issues.  She grunts and complains with pain almost constantly.  She is sensitive to light, noise, air, water, clothing, and touch.  I watch intently for her first gleeful happy smile.  At six weeks old I haven't been successful in seeing one.  She is sensitive to her urine and feces and must be changed immediately.  She winces at the feel of a kiss.  She has yet not to cry when I am changing her clothing.  Yes, this is a special needs child.  She has many special needs at this time.  I can meet every one of those needs.  When I think about the alternative I get nauseated.  I'm not bragging but no one can care for her like I do.  I fear for her safety in the care of anyone else.  She is the kind of child that often becomes a statistic.  In the care of a felon on probation with violent tendencies and an admitted drug user I would never sleep knowing what might happen to my precious Emmi Claire.  I pray the judge has mercy on her and never allows her to know hands other than those who love without condition.