Maternal Bond

I witnessed the strangest thing this week that has been on my mind a lot ever since. Chloe was born by c-section at 5 pounds and given over for adoption the next morning. Her adoption process was rather lengthy and she did not come home until 18 ½ months old. She had a very rough 9 months in one foster home and then had to be moved where she spent the next 9 months in a better environment. I made a total of seven visit trips to see her during this time. I know that at the DNA test the birth mother holds the child for a picture, usually for only a few seconds. Then during the Family Court appointment both mother and child are present although I don’t know if they see one another. Chloe was 10 months old when the DNA picture was taken. I believe she was 9 months old for Family Court. A couple of night ago I was digging through my files to find some information about Chi. In them was a picture of him and pasted beside his picture was his birth mother. I think these are taken at Family Court. They look like mug shots and are about an inch in size. Chloe and Chi saw the picture of him and wanted a better look commenting in phrases like, “look, baby Chi”. His birth mother has very short kinky hair and the photo, being very mug shot looking, they decided she was a ‘mean man’. Children are so brutally honest. Then Chloe began asking for her ‘baby Chloe picture’. Now they are barely 2 and 2 1/2 respectively so I didn’t see a bit of harm in pulling out her picture as well. It was nearby so I grabbed it and showed the picture to her. She looked at it and said ‘baby Chloe!’ Then she looked at the birth mother picture and said, ”awwwwwe … my Mommy.” I asked her again, “Who is that?” She said, “It’s my mommy.” I asked her, “Do you know her?” She said yes. Then the sweetest and saddest thing I have ever witnessed happened. She took that tiny picture and pulled it to her and placed a little tiny kiss on the corner of it, then gave it back and went to play. I sat there stunned and disbelieving. I still don’t know what to think. There is really no true explanation. I’m not questioning her situation or the fact that she is now my daughter. We have an awesome relationship. I am confident she is right where God placed her. I knew adoption would come with many challenges. That’s not it either. But to see the unconditional love Chloe exhibited for a mother who never nurtured her was oddly sad. To recognize her face and know that it was her mother is incomprehensible. I once again question how strong nature VS nurture plays a role in the lives of our children from Guatemala.