Emi Claire's Birth Announcement

Emi's birth announcements came one day before we got the word that our adoption was being contested by J M.  I am still holding all 100 of them.  I could not bring myself to send them knowing I could be having to tell everyone we lost her.  They are sitting here on my desk and the day we know she is forever ours I will send them to everyone who will love her and pray for her and help raise her to her full potential in Christ.  I wait expectantly to send them out.

Two Month Check Up

Emi Claire had her two month check up today.  She also got five immunizations in three shots, ouch!  my poor baby!!  She weighed 9 lbs. and 10 oz.  Wow!  What a lil fatty!  She is in the 14 percentile on growth but the 59th percentile on her head size.  No worries about small head size!!  Her gastrointestinal distress is improving.  She is going to the bathroom on her own most of the time.  We have had no more apnea thus far.  I am still holding her all night and monitoring her breathing.  She is getting more and more beautiful!  Her little heart has lain upon mine for two months now.  Our hearts beat as one.  We are bonded for eternity.  She is my little angel.  Nothing will ever change that no matter what happens.  God will save!

Precious Emi Claire

Emi means - blessed beautiful and honored; Claire means -  bright and clear

Emi Saw the DOC today

Emi had a follow up appt. today.  She weighed 9.0 lbs!!! yeah!!!  Her formula was changed to Nutramigen.  It is sooooooooooo  expensive.  Let's hope it works.  If not the Doc wants her to a a Gastro - something kind of doctor.  The Doc said she is flourishing in spite of her issues.  She was 5 percentile in height but 20 percentile in weight and head size.  The Doc is amazed at how well she is doing.

Another Not Good Day

I thought the soy formula was going to be the golden ticket for Emi's gastrointestinal discomfort.  It seemed to be the case for several hours but this afternoon she has been worse than ever.  It is so hard to see her hurting like this.  She is going back to the doc in the morning.
I found some encouraging info on the web today.  Seems in most paternity cases if the father is a felon or on probation for anything dangerous and violent he stands nearly a 0 chance of acquiring custody of a child.  Well JM has a list a WHOLE lot longer than his arrest, jail time, and probation so I feel like the judge will look favorable on Emi living with the family that has committed to love her with our whole heart.

Horrible Day At the Doctor

We were worked in.  We waited an hour in the waiting room.  The appt. was thorough.  Maybe too thorough.  They wanted a CBC and a urinalysis.  They tried to catheterize Emi and it failed.  They then tried to bag her and it all ran out, now we are home three hours later with another bag on her already sore skin from the previous one that failed.  She has a heal stick.  Overall it was a traumatic day for Emi as well as mom.  The biggest concern is the apnea at this time.  If she has another episode she will have to be hospitalized.  I will have to continue to hold her and monitor her all through the night.  She did not have thrush.  Her formula was changed to soy.  I will have to go get that when I take the urine sample to the lab as soon as she goes.  That could be a while.  Her tummy has been hurting all day and she has not had a lot of formula.  She was 20 inches long and weighed eight pounds and eleven ounces.  All in all she got a good report on her overcoming the effects of the meth in her system.  God is healing her. 

Emi Stopped Breathing Last Night

I have not slept in my bed now in seven weeks.  I hold Emi and monitor her breathing and choking.  Last night was the first night I laid her down next to me on her back to sleep.  It was a God intervention.  I woke from my sleep instinctively to see her purple face.  I just grabbed her up and said her name and she gasp for air and all was fine.  She took several short breaths and then her breathing went back to normal.  The rest of the night I held her.  She is also not able to go the the bathroom on her own.  For five days now I have had to stimulate her to defecate.  She has what looks like yeast growing on her tongue.  It has been there since birth and not cleared so it needs a look.  She also has intense gastrointestinal discomfort.  I don't know if a change of formula would help.  I am also going to inquire about occupational therapy.  She tries to stretch her muscles all the time.  I believe she could have hypertonia that would benefit from therapy and I don't know all the correct stretches.   I am making an appointment today to have her evaluated and get some help in helping her overcome these problems that were induced by the drugs and lifestyle in Section 8 housing.  I am finding it difficult not to build anger toward the ones who have subjected her to this diffucult situation.  It is needless that a child suffer at the hands of someone so selfish they can't think of anyone before themselves.  Oh my precious Emi Claire.  You will be healed.

Bad News

Well I got the call today from B that she was contacted by a lawyer in Lawton who needs to court dates for the hearing to fight our adoption of Emi Claire.  It was no shock but I had hoped so much that this was going to drop and go away after they knew they would have to hire a lawyer.  Not the case.  I am confident the judge will do the right thing but the heart is still broken and I am filled with anxiety.  I have to trust in God right now.  My baby depends on me.

Emi Has Her Crying Monitored Daily

Science Says: Excessive Crying Could Be Harmful

Submitted by admin on Thu, 06/16/2011 - 02:46

Science tells us that when babies cry alone and unattended, they experience panic and anxiety. Their bodies and brains are flooded with adrenaline and cortisol stress hormones. Science has also found that when developing brain tissue is exposed to these hormones for prolonged periods these nerves won’t form connections to other nerves and will degenerate. Is it therefore possible that infants who endure many nights or weeks of crying-it-out alone are actually suffering harmful neurologic effects that may have permanent implications on the development of sections of their brain? Here is how science answers this alarming question:
Chemical and hormonal imbalances in the brain
Research has shown that infants who are routinely separated from parents in a stressful way have abnormally high levels of the stress hormone cortisol, as well as lower growth hormone levels. These imbalances inhibit the development of nerve tissue in the brain, suppress growth, and depress the immune system. 5, 9, 11, 16
Researchers at Yale University and Harvard Medical School found that intense stress early in life can alter the brain’s neurotransmitter systems and cause structural and functional changes in regions of the brain similar to those seen in adults with depression. 17
One study showed infants who experienced persistent crying episodes were 10 times more likely to have ADHD as a child, along with poor school performance and antisocial behavior. The researchers concluded these findings may be due to the lack of responsive attitude of the parents toward their babies. 14.
Dr. Bruce Perry’s research at Baylor University may explain this finding. He found when chronic stress over-stimulates an infant’s brain stem (the part of the brain that controls adrenaline release), and the portions of the brain that thrive on physical and emotional input are neglected (such as when a baby is repeatedly left to cry alone), the child will grow up with an over-active adrenaline system. Such a child will display increased aggression, impulsivity, and violence later in life because the brainstem floods the body with adrenaline and other stress hormones at inappropriate and frequent times. 6
Dr. Allan Schore of the UCLA School of Medicine has demonstrated that the stress hormone cortisol (which floods the brain during intense crying and other stressful events) actually destroys nerve connections in critical portions of an infant’s developing brain. In addition, when the portions of the brain responsible for attachment and emotional control are not stimulated during infancy (as may occur when a baby is repeatedly neglected) these sections of the brain will not develop. The result – a violent, impulsive, emotionally unattached child. He concludes that the sensitivity and responsiveness of a parent stimulates and shapes the nerve connections in key sections of the brain responsible for attachment and emotional well-being. 7, 8
Decreased intellectual, emotional, and social development
Infant developmental specialist Dr. Michael Lewis presented research findings at an American Academy of Pediatrics meeting, concluding that “the single most important influence of a child’s intellectual development is the responsiveness of the mother to the cues of her baby.”
Researchers have found babies whose cries are usually ignored will not develop healthy intellectual and social skills. 19
Dr. Rao and colleagues at the National Institutes of Health showed that infants with prolonged crying (but not due to colic) in the first 3 months of life had an average IQ 9 points lower at 5 years of age. They also showed poor fine motor development. (2)
Researchers at Pennsylvania State and Arizona State Universities found that infants with excessive crying during the early months showed more difficulty controlling their emotions and became even fussier when parents tried to consol them at 10 months. 15
Other research has shown that these babies have a more annoying quality to their cry, are more clingy during the day, and take longer to become independent as children 1.
Harmful physiologic changes
Animal and human research has shown when separated from parents, infants and children show unstable temperatures, heart arrhythmias, and decreased REM sleep (the stage of sleep that promotes brain development). 10 12, 13
Dr. Brazy at Duke University and Ludington-Hoe and colleagues at Case Western University showed in 2 separate studies how prolonged crying in infants causes increased blood pressure in the brain, elevates stress hormones, obstructs blood from draining out of the brain, and decreases oxygenation to the brain. They concluded that caregivers should answer cries swiftly, consistently, and comprehensively

Adopting a Substance-Exposed Baby - I Never Stop Educating Myself on the Care of This Child

This is Emi.......

 

Drug babies

'Children who have been exposed prenatally to alcohol and illicit drugs have trouble regulating themselves-whether it's their behaviors, their emotions, or their sleep patterns. In general, prenatally exposed children have trouble figuring out Children who have been exposed prenatally to alcohol and illicit drugs not know how to interpret all the busyness in the world around them. A good example of this is the difficulty the newborn or young infant has in habituating (blocking out) visual and auditory stimulation. An infant who is unable to filter out unimportant sounds-such as the buzz of an air conditioner-can become overwhelmed easily and appear irritable and disorganized. Children like this are unable to fall asleep easily and maintain a good sleep state. Thus, they do not get enough quality rest, which can affect mood and hamper the ability of these children to regulate behavior and attention. This makes a child prenatally exposed to alcohol and illicit drugs appear very much like a child who has attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).' -Ira J. Chasnoff, M.D.

Drug Exposed Infant Care:

Based on her research, Dr. Shah says 6 to 18 months of age is a relatively symptom free time for meth-exposed babies. Early breathing and excessive fussing problems can dissipate as the meth-exposed child approaches his second birthday.

Monitor the baby's sensitivity to different stimuli. If he complains when a bright light is turned on, keep lighting softer. If he kicks off his blanket, bed him down in a one-piece sleeper. If hypersensitivity to light or sound keeps the baby from sleeping, keep her sleeping environment dark and quiet. If the baby is constantly fussy, consider "wearing" the baby in a soft carrier. Because babies are sensitive to caregivers' emotions, close proximity to a consciously tranquil and caring parent can ease distress and promote bonding. By the same token, avoid passing meth-exposed babies around to strangers. Seeing new face after new face can be over-stimulating and disconcerting. One article recommends some simple steps to help your baby settle in order to sleep. Introduce changes (noise, light, smells, environment, people) gradually. *a positive article on helping a child to sleep is found here Consult with the baby's pediatrician before giving any medication, particularly any drug with ephedrine or pseudoephedrine, a component of meth. Drug Exposed Child Care: As the toddler matures, however, parents may notice continuing problems with sensory integration dysfunction (a child's inability to process sensory input correctly), and more trouble with paying attention, controlling anger, and having aggressive outbursts. Once the child enters a more structured school setting, learning difficulties may become evident. Overall, behaviors are consistent with those exhibited by many foster children, so caregivers must be ready to advocate for the child at school and seek other services that can help each child, given his specific challenges, to manage life more effectively. Let your child's teachers to know (in confidence of course) that your foster/adopted child did have substance exposure in utero. The results of the exposure may show up in their first few years of schooling. It will help that teacher when assessing a child's behaviors and abilities. A good teacher will see areas where a modified learning system will be needed to help the child grasp a concept. If a child has a sensory integration dysfunction, track his behavior and note what may have provoked the behavior. If a child rejects certain clothing, fabric, or food textures, he may be hypersensitive to touch. An aversion to loud noises would signal auditory hypersensitivity, and conversely, under-sensitivity to body movement could provoke a child to strive for perpetual motion. When you find out what causes certain behaviors, try to avoid the triggers and teach others to do the same. The child might also benefit from a sensory integration evaluation and occupational therapy. When treated at a young age, some children can gain better control over their sensory perceptions. Because attention deficit hyperactivity disorder-like symptoms can stem from sensory integration problems, check that possibility before seeking behavioral therapy or medicine. If ADHD is diagnosed, practice positive reinforcement, seek classroom accommodations, and consider programs where the child can have more individual attention. Help your child communicate. Introduce sign language. I would HIGHLY recommend Signing Times (all my children - biological, foster, daycare - have used it with great success!) Learn to decipher messages behind behaviors. Children who prolong the bedtime ritual, for example, may unknowingly fear abandonment. When you know why your child is acting out, it is much easier to be objective and keep situations from escalating. On a personal note: we brought home three little ones (all under the age of three) and trying to decipher their "messages" was really hard. I struggled with making a connection. I had always been good at figuring out what the non verbal child needed due working in a daycare setting for several years. It doesn't hurt to ask around and get other's input. Several times it was outside perspectives that really help us to bond and bring the child to a place of comfort. Bring the whole family to therapy. Your child's issues must be addressed within the context of living with you. Consider options for schooling. Alissa, whose two youngest children were exposed to meth in utero, is home schooling them. She knows that the children, who are prone to infections and have trouble focusing, are much less likely to catch colds at home, will be spared damaging labels like bad or stupid, and will not pick up undesirable behaviors from other kids at school. No child is perfect and there is no way to know the extent that the drug abuse will affect your child. There is a wide range of results. I know of more than a dozen children who range from no affect to significant health and learning delays. You as the foster and adoptive parent provide the greatest asset to your child's success: a willingness to help them through all their trials and overcome their challenges. According to Dana Johnson, writing in the journal Early Human Development, apart from "assuring survival for children whose parents are unwilling or unable to care for them," adoption can "affect child development in profound ways." Adoption, she writes, provides "a remarkable environment for healing emotional and physical trauma and reversing developmental deficits."

Overview

According to the federal government, approximately 325,000 drug-exposed infants are born every year. Infants exposed to drugs or alcohol in utero may suffer a variety of short-term and long-term mental and physical health consequences. These can include learning disabilities, sensory integration issues, tremors, retarded growth and changes in muscle tone. Adopting these children can be challenging, but effective interventions and many sources of support exist for parents.

Effects of Substance Exposure

One of the most common early symptoms seen in substance-exposed infants is hypersensitivity to stimuli. Long term, these children may exhibit signs of attention deficit disorder, learning difficulties and/or sensory integration issues. Physical symptoms of substance-exposed infants may include tremors, stiff or limp muscles, and gastrointestinal problems. Symptoms will vary according to the type of substance the infant was exposed to. Physical development may be delayed in drug-exposed children. Symptoms of fetal alcohol syndrome, according to the Mayo Clinic, include distinctive facial features, heart defects, deformities of joints, limbs and fingers, retarded physical growth before and after birth, vision and hearing problems, small head circumference and brain size, poor coordination, sleep issues, mental retardation and delayed development, learning disorders and abnormal behavior.

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Interventions

Early intervention is important for positive outcomes. External stimuli, such as light, sound, touch and voice, should be controlled and introduced gradually. Adoption agencies should be able to assist as needed with obtaining early-intervention services and, if needed later, behavioral-management programs, special-education services, tutoring, and assessment and intervention for neuropsychological problems.

Support

A number of support services are available for parents adopting substance-exposed babies, including counseling services for parents and other family members, support groups for parents, education and guidance for dealing with childhood and adolescent behaviors, respite care and legal assistance for parents for finalizing adoptions and for pursuing needed services.

Benefits

Although adopting a substance-abused child presents a number of challenges, the families and child usually will experience benefits as well. According to Dana Johnson, writing in the journal Early Human Development, apart from "assuring survival for children whose parents are unwilling or unable to care for them," adoption can "affect child development in profound ways." Adoption, she writes, provides "a remarkable environment for healing emotional and physical trauma and reversing developmental deficits."

Considerations

Adoption.com recommends that prospective adoptive parents obtain a complete medical history and details about the child's exposure, including what substances were taken, the length of use and whether the child was born addicted. They should ask for results of neonatal and subsequent testing and also get independent medical evaluations. Interested parents should educate themselves about the effects of prenatal substance exposure and seriously consider their attitudes and abilities to care for a child with special needs.

Read more: http://www.livestrong.com/article/78309-adopting-substanceexposed-baby/#ixzz1Xlr5huzH

Coping With Emi a 'Drug Exposed' Infant

Emmi fell into our arms almost by magic.  I think it was partly because when we set out to adopt this time we marked virtually every special need on the list.  I believe there may have been suspicion that this baby might just fall into that category.  Adopting Emilio from Ukraine with brittle bone disease seemed somehow easy.  I'm a work brittle person so the thought of caring for a fragile child was not frightening.  Emi on the other hand may have the special needs that frighten me the most.  I don't know about the brain damage.  I don't know about the central nervous system damage.  I don't know how much can heal itself from eight months of captivity in a womb that was subjected to a pack of cigarettes a day.  Marijuana, methamphetamine, and cocaine.  Was this often? Every day?  Or occasionally?  I will never know that answer.  I fear her being able to reach her full potential.  With that being said, I will do everything humanly possible for her to do just that, reach her 'full' potential.  She is six weeks old.  I have not slept a night in bed since her coming home.  I hold her.  She was brought home with digestive issues.  She chokes easily.  She has made one trip to the emergency room for this.  I never leave her side.  She has nerve issues.  She grunts and complains with pain almost constantly.  She is sensitive to light, noise, air, water, clothing, and touch.  I watch intently for her first gleeful happy smile.  At six weeks old I haven't been successful in seeing one.  She is sensitive to her urine and feces and must be changed immediately.  She winces at the feel of a kiss.  She has yet not to cry when I am changing her clothing.  Yes, this is a special needs child.  She has many special needs at this time.  I can meet every one of those needs.  When I think about the alternative I get nauseated.  I'm not bragging but no one can care for her like I do.  I fear for her safety in the care of anyone else.  She is the kind of child that often becomes a statistic.  In the care of a felon on probation with violent tendencies and an admitted drug user I would never sleep knowing what might happen to my precious Emmi Claire.  I pray the judge has mercy on her and never allows her to know hands other than those who love without condition.

That Man Is a CRIPS gang MEMBER!!!

I have been researching the facebook entries and have concluded that JM is not only a felon but a CRIPS gang member.  Not just any member but one who is 'branded' with a 27.  Do your research.  This is not good.  He is a life member and a NY hat wearing bad guy.  I called J to inform her that I was not inclined to put my family's life in danger.  She is planning to talk to B and decide on what to do in regard to confidentially and getting this behind us all.  There is no way this baby will be placed in his care.  right!?!

This Blog is my account of Events in the Adoption of Emi Claire Sanders

August 30th at 3:30 pm brought my world crashing down.  At the termination of fathers hearing a man and his mother showed up wanting to claim the baby and to dispute the placement of Emi into our home.  All I can say at this moment is that this is exactly why I would travel seven times internationally and go half way around the world to save a child rather than risk what I would say for me is the second most tragic thing to the death of a child and that being adopting a child that is later taken from you.  I will document as time allows so that I can enter into court the journal of these next few months.