Watching Toddlers

When our family went into adoption, I think we had every fear that anyone would have. Will they be normal? How will they adjust to us? How will we adjust to them? What kind of personality will they have? What kind of intelligence will they have? Of course one prepares for whatever the outcome. Adoption does not come with a set of standards. The child is a gift from God just as a birthed child. There is no order turned in for a certain make or model. When the child is placed in your arms there is no judgment cast upon that child, you just know that you would lay down your life for that tiny gift. Watching Chloe and Chi grow and develop over the past year has been a miraculous unfolding of God’s love. No doubt Chloe was named according to God’s prompting. Her birth name meant “Bitter Rose” and we changed it to mean “Blooming Rose on God’s Heavenly Alter of Grace”. That is exactly what we have seen in her over the past year. She radiates God’s love to us and through her we see joy. Just last night, Chi got a guitar strap wrapped around his neck while they were playing in the back room. Chloe led him to me knowing full well he was in trouble. She tried in her very best baby talk to let me know his situation and to help him. It was then that it just washed over me the amazing love and gift Chloe is to our family. Of course, I didn’t overlook God’s blessing of using her to watch over Chi and that guitar strap is in the trash where it belongs. Chi’s birth name meant “God will Increase”. Though we changed his name, we knew that he would be a blessing as well and that God WOULD increase in our lives. His name now means “Messenger of God’s Salvation”. We believe he will fulfill his calling in the meaning of his name. Just watching my toddlers I am amazed at what God has done in their lives and how he blessed our family with children that are so awesome! They are so much like my own three children, I have started calling Chloe, Kelissa half the time and I call Chi, Kade or Cason the other half. I don’t know anything about the argument of Nature VS. Nurture, but I do know God doesn’t care if they are birthed or adopted they are equal and wonderful in His sight, and He makes all things right. I am so thankful during this holiday season for the gift of watching my toddlers grow and develop in His grace.

Update

Thanks for all the advice and suggestions on getting out marker. I appreciate all the comments and feedback. However, since the ink had soaked down into the canvas the portrait was in fact ruined!! The replacement was $250.00 so it was a very expensive mistake to say the least. I did get this year's portrait while I was there replacing last year's so I posted it below. Chloe is doing so wonderfully now telling the truth. She had just formed a bad habit of blaming others for almost anything whether good or bad. Now she will blame someone else then immediately correct herself and say "No, Me did it". So at least I feel somewhat better about the whole ordeal.

Quit Stealing My Children!

It happens to the best of us. God allows us the privilege of raising the most beautiful new born baby, and then it disappears!!! Don’t get me wrong; whoever steals the baby always leaves someone in its place. First the newborn disappears. One wakes up and a screaming, messy toddler is in the baby bed demanding a diaper change. Where did the sweet, quiet newborn go? About the time one gets used to the demanding toddler there it goes as well! A well-spoken, giggly independent preschooler is left on the front porch refusing to come inside. Once one learns the many twists and turns to getting this one to conform, a school age romping, stomping, snotty nosed kiddo walks in wanting to know what’s for supper. Someone quit stealing my children!!!! We have it in our heads this happens subtly, but no it’s an overnight exchange when one is least expecting it! Once the school age child that now has one carpooling almost every waking minute and needing help with homework stacked a mile high, it happens again, only this time it’s a morph kind of thing. A tall, shapelier, sleepy teenager crawls out of that elementary child’s bed and doesn’t want to go to school. This one posed the most amazing challenge. This is when I'd finally had enough! This was the time I started finally rebelling about this whole baby stealing thing. STOP! Give me back my children! But no, it’s too late. I’ve done everything I can to try and stop this intruder, but to no avail. He just keeps coming back. I even tried doing it all over again! I went to Guatemala and adopted two more precious newborns, but guess what, the baby stealer has already struck once, leaving me with those messy, screaming toddlers, and I fear at least one of my children will soon be replaced with that independent preschooler. Is there no end to this madness!! I have in my search for my precious newborns found out the name of this unwelcome intruder and his name is TIME. He is a relentless foe, and wins out every time. I have learned that if you are aware of this intruder, and anticipate his moves, you can get one foot up on him. Invest everything you have in the child that’s in your home, and never let a teachable moment pass one by. Love as if there’s no tomorrow and then the last time the intruder comes and steals away your child, he leaves the most wonderful, God honoring, friend, confidante, and ally one can never imagine. I know because it happened to me. Now I don’t dread his coming nearly as bad. TIME can also be your friend (if you manage him wisely).

OK That's NOT Funny!

This is Kelissa's portrait, a photogenic winning picture from a pageant that she was in last year and hangs right over her bed.

Isn't this nice!

It gets even better! The wall was covered in green marker as well as all the sheets, pillows, and comforter on Kelissa's bed. This all happened during a 20 minute phone conversation that I rarely ever get to have. When I discovered the marks on the wall my blood pressure only slightly elevated, when the bed was covered I got a little more agitated, but when I saw this gold embossed 11x14- no telling how much it cost- portrait my blood pressure went through the roof! Poor little Chi walked in the room about that time and I said, "CHI did you do this? And his immediate response was YEP!" Wrong answer! He immediately received the "rod of correction" and was sent to his room to cry it out. Well a little gloating Chloe then gave me suspicion to investigate further. I went and found Chi, questioned him further and of course now he blamed Chloe. So, I get them both in the room in front of the picture and started asking them who wrote on it. Both would instantly point to the other and say they did it. Well what do you do with two toddlers who are blaming the other and can barely talk? I was not going to let this go. I know as an older mother I am much more laid back than I was with my other children, but trust, honestly, and truthfulness is still top on my list. Telling lies in any way, shape, or form has always been strictly prohibited in our home and I have three credible children to show for it, so this was the teaching moment I could not let go of. After much blame from both parties, I had to spank them, and then proceed to finding out the truth. Did the guilty dog then fess up? NO! still the blame game. I was on to Chloe, though, because she still blamed Chi but she would point up instead of at him. After exhausting myself with begging the truth, we had to go for round two of spanking the two of them. Did I get a confession then? NO still the blame game! I am getting worried now about the conclusion of this teaching moment. How long can I spank both children for the guilt of one? Well here we go again, round three of this spanking party. Did I get a confession now? YES!!!!! I think it was probably the hardest thing she ever had to do, but Chloe admitted she did it! Yeah! I'm so proud of her. Her little heart just broke and she sobbed and sobbed! She hugged me and hugged Chi and said she was sorry and cried some more. Did I punish her? NO, I think she learned enough. All I wanted was the truth and getting it out of a toddler can be a tricky thing. As for Chi I think he learned a lot too. Don't ever admit to something you didn't do and don't get caught with the evidence all over you. They were both covered from head to toe in green marker! As for me, there will be no more tolerance for pointing to the other one every time a mess is made. Spanking my children nausiates me, and this particular episode about did me in. I hate to do it, but I know it's necessary at times.

Now I'm taking the portrait to the photographer to see if there is anything that can be done to save it. I'll let you know how it goes.

Ingore the Diapers!

On this beautiful fall day with all five children at home, I decided it would be a good time to catch a quick picture of all of them together NOT! I don't know WHY the cat is in the picture! Cason is not smiling, Chi is mad, Kade is not looking, and Chloe is getting down! Ignore the diapers!
The cat is posing but now Chloe is watching the cat, Chi is getting down AND watching the cat, Kade is slumping, and just ignore the diapers!
OK, now Kade's eyes are closed, Chi is being restrained by Kade's legs while he's looking away and watching the cat, Chloe is still watching the cat who is still posing, now Cason is even watching the cat. Ignore the diapers!
OK now the cat is mad! He's tired of being the only one in the picture posing. Chloe is backing off from previous encounters with a mad cat, Chi is all the way down and picking his nose and not looking, Kade is still slumping, and Kelissa is leaning away from the cat! Ignore the diapers!
OK, now the cat is restrained. I still don't know why it's in the picture. Chloe is still worried about the cat who is now looking back at her, Kade is still slumping, and Chi is leaving. I hope you ignored the diapers. I do about 90 percent of the time as that's how much they are dressed this way while at home. So no good family picture this time. This is a good portrayal of how managed my life seems most of the time while juggling five kiddos!

Fall Nostalgia

Fall......... It's has always been my favorite time of year. Brisk mornings, orange leaves, 70 degree weather, pecans falling, football games etc...for some reason I always reflect on my life during the fall. I guess it's just the season of change. We saw that with the election last night, but I don't want to go there. Today I am reflecting on one year ago. After many much too long months Chloe and Chi were both home with us. They came to us in the fall. As I take them out strolling in the evenings I remember one year ago. The completion of our family finally happened. The battle to bring them into our family was a jouney that I will never forget, yet comes to me with so many bitter sweet memories. When God awakens a dream in you and you begin to act upon it, there will always be opposition. Looking back I can see the power of the enemy so evident in this dream of adoption. It started out difficult and then got unbearable before the grace of God appeared and finished the work He had begun. Just to reflect for a moment on these difficult times there was the arrest of my agency for Chloe here in the U.S. that left me without a representative. I had to work directly with Guatemala attorneys who used every act of corruption in the business world. I can't say any more than that. Mary Bonn's arrest tainted Chi's adoption and slowed things down. Chloe's foster mother had to be changed when she was 9 mo. old. Chloe was about 10 lbs. at 9 mo. and still she could not roll over. Her body was flatten from lying on her back and that is all I can go into here. On my fourth visit trip Chi was 4 mo old and black and blue (from falling into his cradle while sleeping)?!. So many prayers went up for these two precious angels during their captivity. When I learned the country was closing down adoptions at the end of 2007 and Chloe and Chi were still not home that added to the heartache. So many twists and turns I can't account for them all here, but looking back on the greatness of God and His divine will and purpose just sends me to my knees with thanksgiving. After one year I look back on the process as the hardest and most difficult challenge our family has ever faced. We learned to solely depend on God and trust His divine purpose and leave it all in His hands. So much energy, work, worry, stress, and prayer going on all at once for 15 long months had left me used completely up and then two new family members suddenly arrived and I had to deal with a whole new set of unexpected issues. I look back on those days shortly after Chloe and Chi got home with a very foggy view. It took me a few months to adjust to this new life all the while claiming God's promises. Watching Chloe and Chi grow for the past year amazes and blesses me beyond words. Both insecure and fearful they came to us. Both strangers to each other and to us. Both unloved and forgotten by their own people. Today they are my children given by God- No color difference, no adoption walls, no regrets. Chi is my "Little Buster" man who will definitely be a football player. Chloe is my "Little Bonita" strong willed, hard headed definitely praise and worship leader. Today I sit here enjoying fall the way I should. Crisp mornings, fall leaves, sun going down too soon, etc... and the mom of five of the most beautiful children God ever created. I don't know why God chose to bless Jeff and I the way He has. I'll ask Him first thing when I get to heaven.

Our "Little Cowgirl"

Trick or Treat!

Chloe and Chi had a wonderful time trick-or-treating! They were so proud of the "loot"! The sugar high was enough to wear me out at the Friday night ballgame! They were so cute saying twick or tweet! and they never forgot a "thank you" and "bye-bye". I was just a little proud of them myself. This is at the salebarn with Cason.
This is Uncle Travis. We couldn't forget the go by and say hello.

Norma had some really neat treats for them.

Here they are leaving Grandma's house.

Chi loved his Panny hoze!

Chloe was the cutest Minnie Mouse ever, but remained earless for most of the evening.